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During the last summer vacation, thanks to the father in my hometown parish, I could be able to have a chance of thankful and blessing deacon ministry experience there. I could celebrate the mass and deliver the homily and visit people who were in illness, and summer church camp and legio prayer meeting.
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I also had a chance to meet many parishioners who showed me their wonderful and amazing faith. Doing my days there, I got a question that so many Parishioners asked me.
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“Brother, I don’t know how to pray.
Could you teach me how to pray? I do Rosaries and I do meditation in front of Tabernacle. But I kept distracted by many thoughts and I was not able to sure that if I was praying properly. I hear that prayer is a conversation between me and God, but I feel like I am always talking myself on my own. “
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I am not sure how much help I gave them, but I have shared my experiences and introduced good books that had inspired me. However, I had said that time and I am also saying now that I don’t know about prayer that much either.
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The second reading of today is very very special to me. This is one of my favourite scenes in the Bible. This is the prayer which I do often before beginning my any prayers.
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At the third or fourth year after entering the congregation, the religious have a special period which is called Novitiate Period. During that time, isolated by outside of the world, we focus on studying the history and spirituality of the congregation and prayers. It is very challenging and tough but at the same time, it is a blessing and thankful period. We call it "the flower of the religious life". Facing so many difficulties and tough challenges from daily life, relationships with other brothers, and the study, the only thing that made me keep going was prayer.
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But the more I prayed the more I couldn’t understand what prayer was. At so many nights, I was disappointed by myself and my heart was broken and I cried in front of the tabernacle.
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At that time, I met today’s second reading, chapter 8 verse 26, which had totally stir my heart.
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I cannot properly express my heart at that time reading those words. I just knew that “when I was praying with my broken heart in deep agony, somebody else besides me was praying for me in deeper agony. Even though I didn’t know how to pray, the Holy Spirit was praying with me and for me.”
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There are so many ways of praying. We join in the prayer meeting, the retreat, and listening to the lecture about prayer. We try to pray in a better way. However, there is one thing I try not to forget in whatever way I do my prayer or whatever kind of prayer I do. That is "there is someone beside me who pray for me harder than me following the will of God."
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I try not to forget that when I pray I am not alone. Because I know my prayer invites the Holy Spirit to pray with me and for me. Eventually, I realised that the prayer is not something I do with my power alone.
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If you think you don’t know how to pray or if you think you cannot play well, as like I think, let us pray just as much as we can. The holy spirit will do the rest, and God will remember our prayers even if it is not perfect.