I have been watching an old Korean drama for the last few weeks. One of the main stories of the drama is about the Korean education system. The parents push their children too much to study for so many hours, most of the day. When the child complained about it, the mother shouted at her son. Saying like this.
"Do I do this for myself? No, I'm doing this for you, not for me! I' have been sacrificing my life for your future! You do study."
Sisters, do you think the mother sacrificed her life for the children? Really? No, I don't think so.
I have faced the same question in today's Gospel.
Today's Gospel reminds me of a weird education fever in Korean society and parents and their children suffering. From the Gospel, we can find the mother of the sons of Zebedee approached Jesus with her sons, wishing to ask him for something. When she came close to Jesus, she asked him to command that these two sons of her sit one at Jesus' right and the other at Jesus' left in Jesus' kingdom.
It was so impressive that the ones who asked Jesus were not the sons. It was the mother. The sons didn't say anything or do anything. They were just standing by their mother. Only the mother talked.
We can see the result of her mother's ask in the following sentences of today's Gospel. What was the result? The other ten apostles became indignant at the two brothers. Two sons were hated and blamed by the other ten apostles. We can not tell that the mother made a good result for her children. Instead, She seemed to put her children into trouble.
I have seen many mothers and fathers doing that in Korean society, especially in the education system. They push their children to private institutes and make them study for many, many hours. They spend so so much money on children's education. And they say they give up their life, happiness, private space, and time helping their children focus only on their studies.
The real problem comes up when children stand against their parents. When their children complain to their parents for ruining their lives with that too much pressure, parents would say, "this is not for me. What I have been doing was for you. I have sacrificed my whole life for you. Do not think about anything but focus only on preparing for the entrance exam for university. The children would obviously disagree because they have not asked their parents to sacrifice their lives for them. They would say that was not a sacrifice but a desire. The greed of the parents. They wanted to have children who go to a good university and work in a good company so that they could feel proud of themselves. Many of m did that for themselves, not for their children.
Maybe, from my guess, the two sons of Zebedee might have been embarrassed by their mother. They might have felt humiliated by her. I don't know how they felt and if they asked their mother to do that. But, indeed, if I were one of them, I might have felt like that.
When we talk about sacrifice, it is crucial to distinguish sacrifice from our greed. If we look back on our past life and search for the moments when we pursued our own desire saying that our sacrifice, I can tell, we can find so many cases. I also actually have one case recently.
To discern whether our sacrifice is based on our good or that of others, we need to see what we feel from the result because the sacrifice has nothing to do with the good results but with our decision, faith, and love.
Imagine the last moment of Jesus' life on the cross. Was there any single moment or any possibility that Jesus saw the result of his sacrifice?
No, not at all, but he continued his path with his own decision, faith, and love.
If we feel disappointed, angry, or in agony, watching our sacrifice doesn't go as expected, we need to see what was in our mind at the moment of our sacrifice. There must be something linked with our own interest, desire or greed.
What Jesus said at the last moment on the cross was not about disappointment, anger, or agony. Rather, he was in fulfilment, faith, and love.
So let us think, today, more about the meaning of sacrifice and the sacrifices we have made so far and try to find if there is any desire or greed in that our sacrifice. And let us pray to the Lord to give us wisdom so we can make a pure and real sacrifice from today.
