20201201 Tuesday of the First Week of Advent - The place the more God shall be -
After our mass and prayer this morning, I have stayed in the chapel for a while.
Two images came up in my mind.
In the first image, there are several people standing together. They all look confident and well built. They all can stand still on their own in a good shape. They were all smiling beautifully in a bright and cheerful mood.
In another image, there are several people standing together. However, they were different from people in the first image. They look lost their confident and week. They could not stand on their own so that need someone to rely on in a ridiculous way. They face were being crossed ugly in a dark and childish mood.
I found that I wish I could be in the first image, and I have been always trying to make the community where I belong to become like the first image. I can tell I have been doing my best as much as I can.
But the community I have been belonged to and the people I have been living with, above all, me, myself in the real world, are just the same with the second image.
My life there is full of wounds, frustration, anger, disappointment, despair and self harassments. In my past and present life too, survive was the top priority over sacrifice, development, care or compassion. The more I try the more I only got fail. Heartbroken.
But I got a weird feeling in my meditation. Because I found myself feeling more comfortable with the second picture than the first picture. I hate my past and present days there, but I feel comfortable there. That might be because I got used to living there, or because I don't think I deserve to the first picture. I do not know. I need more reflection on it.
Anyway, whatever the reason was, I could see how much God is there in those two pictures. The first picture was, of course, full of God. the people there were all God's images. The second picture was full of God, too, of course, God is everywhere, anywhere. But I saw there is more God in the second picture. God was in the gap between the two pictures. I found that the more I think the first picture is better, the more God be in the second picture.
Today's gospel, Luke says, "you have hidden these things from the wise and the learned you have revealed them to the childlike."
It might be good to be real close to God's image and live happily with people like that. It must be close to life in the kingdom with God... But today's gospel tells me and counsel me that it is also good not to be close to God's image and living with people like that. Because we can see more God in our heartbroken and childish life.
So I humbly pray with this gospel.
"you have hidden these things from the wise and the learned you have revealed them to the childlike."
Father, such has been your gracious will.
Lord, give me the wisdom to see more you in my heartbroken childish life and, Let me rejoiced in the Holy Spirit as Jesus did.